
Oh yes I know I am a wee bit early, but it really should be Australia week! Am I right? I am fortunate enough to have tomorrow and the next day off work and will be celebrating in style with about 20 of my closest friends at a fantastic hotel room with views overlooking the fantastic Swan River.
Here in Perth, for many years the place to be for families and teens has been the foreshore of the Swan River either on the North side (the city) or the South side (South Perth).
I remember back in the day when being a teenager on Australia Day meant grabbing a coke bottle filling it half with bourbon and trawling the foreshore for ...... well nothing.... loitering was at an all time high. It was always fun, we were drunk but there was NEVER any trouble. We were silly and laughing, but well behaved!! We didnt swear at people (apart from each other) we didnt frighten children and we certainly didnt publicly urinate!!
But things have changed.....
.... the fresh faced youths of today.... are out of control. What used to be an amazing day is now filled with high, drunk kids trawling the streets much in the fashion of 10 years ago, except, there is constant voilence, towards other youths or even families. They show no respect to anyone even police or the ambulance officers who try to help them.
And its a sad day. Its a sad day when I choose to have a hotel room overlooking the city because I know the drama down on the shore would never be worth it. *shakes head* what has Perth come to?

It is great though, that in response to this, local city councils around Perth have decided to throw their own little fireworks shows (that are pretty speccy I might add) for families and kids and people in general who dont want the possibility of being glassed or pissed on. Kudos to you councils, for meeting the needs of the public!!
So I am thinking that Perth needs a bit of an Australia Day revamp..... ideas for ways to avoid this nasty situation year in, year out..... I saw this on a facebook page and had to steal it.... its like survival guide to deal with ignorant Australians....
1) Ensure that you have a basic knowledge of martial arts, in case a ignoramus requests you to “kiss the fuckin’ flag”. A swift kick to the balls of the antagonist is efficient, completely defensible in court and very, very satisfying.
2) Carry a can of kerosene and a cigarette lighter at all times. Setting an assailant’s board shorts on fire is an effective distraction and will allow time for escape.
3) Keep a boombox on hand wherever possible, along with a CD of traditional Indian music. This “foreign shit” is known to enrage any ignoramus, who generally prefer the foreign shit from America. Play CD loudly until they are driven away - if this doesn’t work, resort to heavy weaponry.
What do my fellow Australian readers do for Australia Day? Do you keep it low key? Watch fireworks? Spill....